Being Naruto's Lover
by sailormulti01
Summary: Sakura was minding her own business... When she heard interesting sounds from Naruto's house. The works. Beware of Snake-tainted muffins and Uchiha-marked tomatoes. NaruSasu. Implied KakaIru. Crack-fic. I was not sane when I did this. Seriously.
1. Chapter 1: UN Unidentified Noises

**Okay! Here goes my first fanfic _and_ shounen-ai! Cool!!! Have fun reading!**

**Oh and this fic is a little stupid...hehe...**

**It's basically what you get for leaving me alone with a computer that has internet access and a crazy factory in my mind that produces weird, _weird_ things alone in one _secured_ room so chaos will ensue... ahem...**

**On with teh story!!!!**

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"S-Sasuke!!!"

_The pink-haired Gennin halted to a stop upon hearing the name of the object of her affections, and dare she say it... it... it was m-moaned out by a -gulp- very familiar voice..._

..._too_ familiar...

"N-No! Stop! Don't... Don't... Stop!!!"

_A very vague sound of slurping was heard as the kunoichi's emerald orbs widened in horror_

"nggh!!! N-Naruto... Naru..." -insert moan here- "..to.. Don't stop? Alright..." -slurping here-

_She couldn't help but gape, pressing her ear to the door of Naruto's house, silently listening..._

_And by silent, I mean gasps and murmurs here and there..._

"Fuck, Sasuke! Noo!!!" Came a moan - It was a moan!!!

God! I didn't know guys could make _those_ kind of sounds...

Almost sounds _feminine... _shudder...

Did they have to be so loud?!

...Whatever it is they're doing... Just as long as...

**InnerSaku: Face it luv, Sakura Haruno is never wrong ne?**

Oh Shut up!

They can't be doing _that_

**InnerSaku: Doing _what?_ :grins:**

**:ignores: **God no! They wouldn't! Not those two!

**InnerSaku:sulks: Sigh... the feeling of being ignored...**

No! They hate each other!!!

**InnerSaku: It pains me so...**

... right? Right! Of course they hate ea -

'THUD'

What was that?!

**InnerSaku: ooo, they're wild... OHOHOHOHOHHOHOHOHO**

Two very loud groans erupted from inside

"Fuck now my ass hurts... Fuck you Sasuke!!!"

"Gladly"

"PERVERT!!!"

'THUD'

"DOBE! Did you have to be so rough!"

"nggh...Sasu...ke...soo..." "hot..." The boys hissed

They hissed!

**InnerSaku:** **no duh!**

"Sasuke-teme! Ya ate it all up!" Wha?! Ate _it_ all up?!?! "-And I'm still hungry!" Naruto finished

_By now Sakura's brain was going hay-wire!_

HUNGRY?! No! Stay calm! Naruto's always hungry...

"Aw, shut up! Help me clean this mess"

MESS?!? They made a _mess_?!?!

NO!

Be reasonable Haruno! They might be doing something else!

... **moan** ...

They _have_ to be doing something else!

_By now Sakura was as pink as her hair, reaching up to cover her parted lips, she felt warm liquid trickling down her nose - pulling back she stared at her fingers..._

_stared..._

_and stared..._

_AND stared..._

_AND star - Until something snapped..._

"KYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" and the poor kunoichi fled pinching the bridge of her nose all the way home...

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0**

**Poor Sakura... NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Now you can either, click the little button at your right to go to the next chapter to read and review... OR click the other little button that says go _and_ review!!!**

**Ja!**


	2. Chapter 2: SasUKE?

**Hey! Welcome to the next chappy of one of my experiments… Have fun reading!**

**Disclaimer: I have nothing else to say... 'cept I don't own Naruto... **

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_"KYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" and the poor kunoichi fled pinching the bridge of her nose all the way home..._

"WOAH! Sakura-chan was there??? Ooo, she sure can run!" A certain blue-eyed blonde mused behind the taller (cooler smexier hotter paler awsomer) raven

"Hn... You... do know what she was thinking... _right?_"

"Thinking???"

"Thinking that we were..." The raven shrugged looking away

"Oh!" The blonde blinked

...1

...2

..3

.4

5

He blushed deep red "_OH!!!_" tan hands flying to scarred cheeks

The raven in turn blushed as well, the pink of his cheeks rebel that of the smaller blonde. Naruto noticing, smirked a very Sasuke-like smirk

"What she didn't know is that we do _that_ inside the safety of _your_ house... Sasuke-_kun_"

Tan arms wrapped around the tall one's waist, coaxing, or rather, dragging the scarlet Uchiha back inside

"in your bedroom" he whispered, teasing the raven

"and your living room..." the teasing continued

"not to mention your bathroom..

kitchen... your dining room.. the compound's thousands of guest rooms, the - Ne? What's wrong Sasuke-_koi_?"

The blonde looked at his 'koi' that now lay below him on the wooden floor, his face was flushed and he refused to look the kitsune in the eye...

"I-I j-just di-n't realise that we... Ano..."

"Oh! She also doesn't know that _I'm_ the one behind, unless you want to try something _new_ SasUKE-chan? Fufufufufufufu"

Naruto teased lustfully, giggling to himself, that evil glint that Orochimaru gets when he gets to bake an '_evil'_ muffin, sparkling brightly in the blonde's cerulean orbs

"..."

Naruto stood up deciding he teased Sasuke enough for today... when...

"Oh Naru-_chan!_" The blonde turned towards his boyfriend, eyes immediately widening when said boy gave him '_the_ look'

Sasuke was in a 'Sex-Kitten-Fucking' mood...

"You...You evil, temptous, seductive, ramen-stealing teme!!!"

He stepped back...

forward...

back...

forward...

back...

forward...

ba - Uh-Oh! The kitsune gulped feeling his back hit the wall...

"You -"

"sexy."

"arrogant -"

"sexy"

"stoic-"

"sexy"

"perverted -"

"sexy"

"Is that the only word you know?!"

"I'm sexy!" The Uchiha smirked

And that was the last intelligent word that slipped pass their lips... if you count that as an intelligent conversation that is...

Anyways...

The rest of the night was filled with a series of moans, groans, murmurs, moans... groans... moans...

Did I mention moans??? I did? Oh!

**

* * *

Meanwhile... **

Sakura stood in front of her mirror clutching her nose with a tissue...

Images of her teammates doing naughty... naughty... naughty _things_ ran across her brain...

OMG!!!

Who would've thought what sounds can do to people's imaginations...

mmm... two... sweaty... panting... steaming... boys... drool...

So... HOTT!!! YUM!

"I have to call EVERYONE!!!!!"

And so Sakura ran to her phone and informed everyone, who's everyone of what she found out...

Forming Konoha's Yaoi FanClub society...

* * *

**Anyways...**

Sasuke couldn't walk for 2 days after that and was limping on the 3rd... sigh... being the Kyuubi-holder's lover sure has it's ups and downs...

Naruto appeared covered with 'love-bites' or what I'd like to call hickeys... snickers... Can you believe that his jacket _just_ had to fall in the mud that morning... Guess who's responsible... 1) Sasuke... 2) Uchiha... 3) Uchiha, Sasuke or 4) Mr. Muffin-man

Go ahead guess...

It was Mr. Muffin-man!

Who would've thought that Naruto walks down the dairy lane at mornings???

And that the muffin-man has a crush on Sasuke and is now mad at Naruto for it???

Yes, being the Kyuubi-holder's lover sure has it's ups and downs...

**o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o**

**Well there ya go! hehe... Please rate, so I'll know if I'm any good and I can write another story... what do you think?**

**Flames are allowed, don't worry!**

**Well, Ja!!!**


	3. Chapter 3: The END OWARI

**I'm so happy! Thanks to all those who reviewed:**

**TheDarkestWhiteRose: Thank you very much!!! (-)**

**GothicSuicide: Thanks!!! **

**Moonlight black rose: Thank you!!! I was laughing while writing it as well!**

**RickaZcurser: I agree, Naruto _should_ be uke… But… I just can't resist a blushing Uchiha! Drools…**

**Flibber T. Gibbet: Thank you!!! CHEERS!!! **

**kitsunechibiko: Actually… I'm not really sure myself if I _am_ serious about the muffin thing… hehe…**

**Queen-of-doomsday-prophecie...: Who can blame her _indeed_**

**Hikory: Sadly… Sasuke is the uke, why? Because… He looks so hot when he squirms!!! Drool… Don't cha agree?**

**P.S. I _might _change my mind... just read okay?**

**

* * *

Sorry about the mood swings of the two.. I mean Sasuke was all blushing and stuff, then he was getting all smirky... **

But I mentioned it in the 1st chap, that I have a factory in my head that produces weird _thingies_...

And take note that Sasuke might be OOC here, but we still love him don't we???

Yes, 'thingies' is a word... It's the plural form of 'thingy'...

Which is also a word, mind you... ahem...

* * *

Chapter 2 was supposed to be the last chapter... _But_... Since a couple of reviewers asked for more and that they didn't know what the two were _doing_... think of this as a bonus chapter to clear things up 

Oh and I don't own Naruto...

Despite the fact that it would be sooo cool!!! I just own a little Sasuke sticker... sigh...

**On with teh story!!!! **

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 **

"So, _what _happened???"

The two ninjas jumped when they heard the question of their former sensei

"What do you mean _what_ happened???"

The blonde asked, big, blue _innocent_ eyes staring up at the white-haired man

"Sakura informed me yesterday of certain _noises_ heard from _your _house"

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!!!"

**InnerSaku: Why that - How dare he!!! I'm gonna screw his little mouth shut and -**

"S-Sasuke-kun?"

The female nin gave a nervous squeak as the raven-haired Uchiha advanced at her with looks that promised a sad, gruesome... painful death...

...by evil muffins, tomatoes _and_ dustbunnies...

**InnerSaku: RUN! Run you stupid forehead! RUN!!!**

"EEP!" Sakura yelped barely dodging an evil tomato, she dashed off through town, Sasuke by her tail...

Hey, atleast her dreams came true right? Sasuke finally decided on his feelings for her and is now chasing after her...

_...sigh_...

If only he wasn't shooting kunais and tomatoes her way _and_ if only those feelings were of love and not of hate...sigh...

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 **

The two watched as their former teammates ran around town...

Believe me it was quite a sight to see,

The pink haired kunoichi being chased by a fuming, not to mention limping, Uchiha that held evil muffins, tomatoes, and kunais with dustbunnies following closely behind

Yes, it was quite a sight to see indeed

"So what _did_ happen?"

The silver-haired man asked nonchalantly

"Oh! That! Well you see..."

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 FlashBack 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 **

"S-Sasuke!!!" Naruto whined, he had just bought a ramen take-out and just when he was about to devour his meal the bastard just _had_ to show-up at his doorstep...

"What did _I_ do?" The Uchiha asked, pouting in a very adorable way...

Not that it was adorable...

Anyways, back to the point...

Sasuke was chewing on _his_ noodles... which made him look like a cute little kitty...

_His_ noodles _and_ lunch mind you...

"N-No! Stop! Don't!"

The blonde cried desperately.. tears raining down his eyes...

**Naruto:** **TT3TT**

"But...You already had some... And I'm hungry"

Sasuke pouted staring at the pile of bowls on the table...

Once again, slurping silently

"S-Sasuke!!!" Naruto moaned as the raven subconsciously licked the liquid substance off his lips, chopsticks digging in for more...

"N-No! Stop! Don't... Don't... Stop!!!"

-slurp- and ta-daa! the ramen was gone!

In desperation Naruto tried to get his ramen back by doing the most intelligent thing to do...

He randomly flailed his arms around hoping he'll catch Sasuke off guard and retrieve his beloved ramen...

_What_? It's intelligent!

"nggh!!! N-Naruto... Naru..." Sasuke moaned dodging the blonde's arms "..to.. Don't stop? Alright..." He slurped on the ramen teasing the blonde further... hehe... cute...

"Fuck, Sasuke! Noo!!!" Naruto cried horrified

**Naruto: O.O**

As Sasuke proceeded on devouring his ramen...

Naruto started scratching and hitting here and there as Sasuke skillfully evaded all the while saving the ramen from spilling

Naruto growled leaning over the table to continue his assault tackling the raven down with a loud 'THUD' in the process

The two groaned loudly having fallen in a heap of tangled limbs on the hard cold floor

"Fuck now my ass hurts... Fuck you Sasuke!!!" The blonde accused, pouting cutely while rubbing his back

Sasuke glared and opened his mouth to say _It's-your-fault_ but that wouldn't be like Sasuke would it?

No, Of course not! So, instead...

"Gladly" He smirked cradling the bowl of ramen in hand

"PERVERT!!!" Naruto gasped, once again tackling the raven down

'THUD'

"DOBE! Did you have to be so rough!" Sasuke's eyes widened as the bowl slipped from his fingers and went SPLOOSH! on both of them

YEY SPLOOSH!!!

_ahem_

"nggh...Sasu...ke...soo..."

"hot..."

The boys hissed as the contents of the bowl now covering them being steaming, hot ramen

Now wipe away the drool, I know it's there...

"Sasuke-teme! Ya ate it all up! And I'm still hungry!" Naruto whined

Sasuke could only stare but inside he was gawking... I mean c'mon the blonde practically swam in ramen -no matter how tempting that may sound- he still accused _him_ for _eating_ the ramen! Why, Sasuke'd rather eat the ramen _on_ the stupid blonde!!! Which is not a bad idea... Not a bad idea at all...

"Aw, shut up! Help me clean this mess" Sasuke glared, getting his senses back in track, pointing towards the messy floor and the stained carpet

With a grumble the blonde reluctantly stood up, going to his room to get them a change of clothing as Sasuke dealt with the floor

After a few minutes they finished, dressed in clean clothing.

When they were about to take the trash out they hear a small 'eep' behind the door, followed by a...

"KYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

Sasuke's eye twitched as he watched Sakura run off leaving a trail of dust and speckles of blood behind

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 End FlashBack 0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 **

"... And that's what happened!"

Naruto turned sheepishly grinning, the grin immediately turning into a confused frown as he looked to find his former sensei nowhere to be seen...

"What the???"

* * *

**Somewhere in the middle of teh story/flashback...**

"Kakashi-san!"

The silver-haired juunin turned his attention from the blonde to a certain brown-haired chuunin running his way

"Oh! 'Ruka-kun! What brings you here?"

"You forgot your _bento_"

The shorter of the twoheld out a green bento to the other, a pale pink adorning his tanned cheeks

"Oh! Arigatou! Care to join me?"

Kakashi offered his visible eye curving into an upside-down smile...

"D-demo..." The Academy teacher stuttered pointing at Naruto

"You don't want to join me?"

Kakashi tilted his head to the side, black orbs shining with depression

"Iie! I-I'll join you..." The Chuunin smiled...

* * *

"Kaka - Oh! Hey Sasuke!"

The said boy skidded to a stop as his arm suddenly gained weight

"nani..."

His black eyes turned to his arm where a certain blonde clung

"What **:glare:** are **:glare:** you **:scowl:** doing??? **:glare,glare,scowl:**"

"Aw! Sasuke! What're ya _PMS-ing_ about _now_?" Naruto pouted

The Uchiha twitched...

_PMS-ing?!? Where the hell did he get that?!?!_

"I do not 'PMS'... _usuratonkachi_..." As always de-ni-aaaaaaalllll

"Sasuke-teme! That's mean!!!"

"Of course it is! That's why it's called an _insult_"

"See?! That's why you don't have any friends!!"

The blonde accused as he dragged Sasuke to the Uchiha compound

"Quit pulling! And I so do have friends!!!"

"Oh yeah! Like who?"

"Like..."

"_Like_???"

"Like Mr. Muffin-man who lives down the dairy-lane!!!"

"Sasuke, you are so retarded..."

"Oh yeah! Oh Mr. Muffin-man!!!"

Just then Orochimaru appeared in a pink apron holding a tray of muffins...

"LE GASP!!! How DARE you touch _my _Sasuke!!! Eat my evil muffins you bitch!"

"OMG!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH"

And Naruto ran dodging well-aimed muffins of doom

Oh yes... Being the Kyuubi-holder's lover has its ups and downs, but Uchiha, Sasuke can handle it...

"I'll get you for this SasUKE!!!"

Oh that's it!!!! Naruto is _so_ gonna be uke tonight!! NarUKE... Has a nice ring to it, ne?

Uzumaki, Naruto is going to experience just how hard it is to be The heir of the Uchiha Clan, Uchiha, Sasuke's lover...

MUAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

** _OWARI (THE END)_**

**0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0 **

**And that's it!**

**Woah! I was actually serious 'bout the muffin-thing! NYAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!!!**

**I'm thinking of a NejiShika-thing and an interview-thing, please review and tell me what I should do first! I'd love you for it!!!**

**Also I hoped my readers like this as much as they liked the first two chapters!**

**Well...**

**Ja!!!**


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